Give me Money!

I want a Celeron 1GHz :(

I will give someone my Celeron 266@400, my Celeron 500, my Slot 1 to PPGA Socket 370 adapter, my Abit KA7 "Classic" Slot A AMD motherboard, a 64 Meg DIMM, a Voodoo Banshee PCI, a Voodoo 3 3000 AGP, and a Rendition 2100 if someone wants to hook me up with a Celeron 1GHz+ or a 40Gig+ 7200RPM drive.

Plus, you can get:

Six 486 motherboards, each have two or three VLBus Slots
Six 486-class processors, including a Pentium OverDrive 63MHz, two AMD 486 100@120MHz chips, a 486SX2 50, a 486DX 50, and a 486SX 25.
A full tower, 100 pounder mammoth case, big enough for two families of raccoons to live in.
A 2D video card the Voodoo Rush was based on.
Several issues of 2600 or "Blacklisted!411" or your choice of any other hacker magazine I may have.
Several issues of "321 Contact" from the early to mid-80s, each packed with BASIC programs that will keep you busy on any Commodore 64 or Apple II you may have lying around 'till the cows come home.

And as an added bonus, you will also receive:
A WHOLE SHIT LOAD of old computer stuff. Including 5-1/4 drives, a selection of hard drives varying from 40 Meg all the way up to 100 Meg, etc.

Please PayPal some money to me. Thanks. :)
If enough people gave me at least $5 each, I would be happy. ;)